Contents
- 10 Leaders are not born, they are made
- 9. The main thing for a child is freedom
- 8. Business mom is okay
- 7. Always make time for your child
- 6. Learn to balance work and family
- 5. Motherhood in adulthood is happiness
- 4. Special kids should stay special
- 3. It’s better to flush your ambitions down the toilet
- 2. The main thing is to cultivate responsibility
- 1. To be a good parent, you need to realize yourself
Irina Khakamada is a famous politician and publicist. She writes books, gives master classes on how to be a successful person. In 1995, Time magazine included her among the most famous women in the world.
She has an interesting and eventful life. But at the same time, Khakamada manages not only to engage in public affairs, but also to pay attention to the family. In her first marriage, she had a son, Daniel, who is now 41 years old.
4 times she married Vladimir Sirotinsky. In 1997 they had a daughter, Maria. Unfortunately, the child was born with Down syndrome. In 2004, the girl was diagnosed with leukemia. But, because the disease was at an early stage, the doctors were able to save the girl.
Irina Khakamada is an excellent mother. She is willing to share her experience and knowledge with others.
10 Leaders are not born, they are made
Some children really have advantages: they are born into a prosperous family, study in the best schools, governesses take care of them. Someone will be able to take advantage of what life has given him.
But most often, being spoiled by fate, when there is no need to constantly work on oneself, can lead to the opposite effect. As a child, he could show leadership qualities, but never achieve success.
In the West, they constantly inspire that anyone can become anyone, but in our country, on the contrary, they urge not to stick out, because. you are nobody. It is not right.
If you work on yourself, you can achieve a lot. Khakamada herself admits that she was not a leader in her childhood: she had neither courage, nor charisma, nor the ability to speak, she did not even have a beautiful face.
9. The main thing for a child is freedom
You can not crush your child, control him 24 hours a day. Children should feel the love of their parents, their support, but make all the main decisions themselves.
You must understand that this is not just a child, but an independent person. From childhood, he must learn to cope with problems, but at the same time feeling that you are always there, and, if necessary, support him.
It is important that the child is able not only to make decisions, but also to bear responsibility for them.
8. Business mom is okay
Previously, in a traditional family, dad was the breadwinner, and mom was responsible for comfort and warmth in the house. Now a lot has changed. Women are also engaged in their careers and achieve great success.
After a divorce, they often have to spend a lot of time at work to resolve material issues. In this case, you should not suffer from a guilt complex, give children toys, buying their love, flirt with them, trying to somehow compensate for the fact that you are not at home.
A confident and calm mother who spends a lot of time at work will gradually fit into her child’s picture of the world. If you fawn in front of the baby, you can grow a manipulator who will constantly put pressure on guilt.
But this does not mean that you can forget about the child. Mom should always be a part of his life.
7. Always make time for your child
Staying busy is no excuse. You can always find time to kiss the child in the morning and discuss his problems with him. A kiss at night is also important, as is reading books together before going to bed.
Any, even the busiest mother, will always find at least one hour for tactile communication. You need to constantly stroke and kiss the child, tell him how beautiful, kind and smart he is. Then he will have fewer problems in the future.
On weekends, it is not necessary to arrange some kind of family events, you can just watch cartoons in an embrace, lie on the couch, but always together.
6. Learn to balance work and family
Whatever profession a woman chooses, she will have to learn to combine work and family. Excuses such as “it’s difficult for me”, “it’s not working for me”, do not work. Not a single wise text says that being a parent is easy. But this is not a reason to grow a garden of psychological problems around you.
Set yourself up in the right way, believe in yourself. Returning home, try to forget about work. Your task is to switch to children, to become affectionate and soft.
5. Motherhood in adulthood is happiness
Doctors say that children should be born while the body is young. But Irina Khakamada admitted that later motherhood helped her become happy. She gave birth to a son at the age of 23, besides him, she raised her stepson (3 years older than her baby).
During this period, they had a hard time. It was necessary to support 2 children and retired mothers, I had to work hard and also write a dissertation. There was no time for raising children.
The only thing she could give them was opportunity. They studied at the best special school, practiced karate, skated.
She gave birth to a daughter at the age of 40 and paid much more attention to her, and finally she was able to experience true happiness, understanding what kind of flower grows next to her.
4. Special kids should stay special
Irina Khakamada has a special child. She believes that parents of such children need to forget about snobbery and stop all attempts to make him the same as other kids. They need to come to terms with the fact that he is special, but at the same time do everything possible so that the baby can learn some skills.
Instead of imposing your values on a child, you need to understand his world, which is not easy. And only then carefully screw into this world the ability to communicate and the values of society. And you need to start from an early age, from 2 years.
Also, parents of special children need to be patient. But to build out of yourself a mother-victim who devoted her life to a disabled child is not worth it. This will make everyone unhappy, including the baby.
A woman must and can live her own life, i.e. work, build relationships, make love, etc.
3. It’s better to flush your ambitions down the toilet
Many parents, having failed to realize their ambitions, are sure that their children should do it instead of them. Irina Khakamada urges not to mock children and take care of your own life.
A child will be successful only if he does what he likes. Over time, these skills will help him earn money.
If a child attends a lot of classes and circles, this is good. So it will be easier for him to choose what he is interested in. But at the same time, he should also have free time when he is left to himself.
2. The main thing is to cultivate responsibility
The main mistake of modern parents is overprotection. Now all children grow up infantile. A man is 30 years old, he can be very smart, but at the same time, he has the level of understanding of the world and other people, like a 14-year-old teenager. And all because he always and in everything relies on his parents, he does not know how to make independent decisions. This needs to be taught.
If a problem arises, you should not run to your mother, it is important to learn how to take responsibility and solve it yourself.
1. To be a good parent, you need to realize yourself
Parents should do what they love, not only get paid for it, but also realize themselves. Then they have a huge source of awareness and energy inside them.
Before raising a little man, you need to work on yourself. It’s like on an airplane, when they first put an oxygen mask on themselves, and only then on the child.