10 Illusions You Should Break As an Adult

A person’s picture of the world is formed throughout life: a child has one picture, an adult has another picture. And those illusions that supported us in childhood, at an older age can only interfere. Consider the most common of them.

1. “Suddenly a magician will fly in a blue helicopter and show a movie for free”

One of the illusions in adulthood is the expectation that does not pass for years that a person will certainly appear in life who will make us happy and solve all problems. However, dreaming is one thing, but setting specific goals and gradually achieving them is another.

This illusion threatens with an infantile life position that can block the development of any person.

2. Success is just luck

In this case, someone else’s success is devalued and, accordingly, the efforts that a person has made to achieve the desired result. The fact that others achieve their goals, someone seems unfair. He experiences negative emotions in the form of envy and resentment, which means that he simply wastes his energy. Believe me: the fact that everything “falls from the sky” to successful people is an illusion.

3. Everyone owes me

There are people who, even in adulthood, are convinced that everyone owes them everything. First, they demand the fulfillment of their desires from their parents, then from friends, teachers, classmates, and later from their spouses.

The sooner a person understands that the people around him have the right to make their own choice, the easier it is for him to go through life, counting and relying primarily on himself. This is how self-sufficiency develops.

4. When I get everything I need, I will find happiness

There is a confusion here between the concepts of joy and happiness. A person is convinced: “I will build a house and finally become happy” or “I will get married and find happiness.”

However, when we get what we want, we experience only temporary satisfaction. To be truly happy, you need to have the appropriate mindset, which will allow you to always and everywhere find points of support. In fact, happiness does not depend on circumstances.

5. Money can solve everything

Money, of course, gives great opportunities, makes us more free. But they alone (without our own work on ourselves) cannot solve all our problems. And therefore, going into such an illusion, people run the risk of being very disappointed at some point.

6. Money is evil

The other extreme is the neglect of money. In this case, a person, on the contrary, downplays the importance of money and eventually begins to avoid it, considering it “dirty”. Is it necessary to say that such an illusion leads to a low quality of life?

7. Parents are always right

This is an illusion of those who never completely separated from their parents. This attitude leads to the fact that it is difficult for us to separate from our parents at the emotional, functional and value levels.

The constant need for parental approval is an extremely dependent life position. Freed from the illusion, we will be able to take responsibility for ourselves, make independent decisions and defend our point of view.

8. I must be good to everyone

This illusion is very energy-consuming, because being good for everyone will not work, no matter how hard you try. Each of us has our own system of values ​​and picture of the world, which means that we will always have both supporters and opponents, and this is absolutely normal.

The presence of this illusion leads to vulnerability, dependence on the opinions of others, as well as to perfectionism. A person will constantly expend his energy to please someone and get upset if this does not happen. Working on self-esteem will help you take control back into your own hands.

9. Life is endless

It may seem to us that everything is still ahead, which means that we can spend time on unnecessary, insignificant things, delay important matters, postpone decision-making, in other words, procrastinate.

This illusion should be feared, because at the dawn of life, great disappointment can befall, as well as regret about the years lived in vain.

10. It’s too late for me to start something

An illusion that has similar consequences to the previous one, with the only difference being that it is based on the person’s fear of moving forward.

Getting rid of any illusions is not an easy process, sometimes even painful. However, the construction of a new, more mature picture of the world makes a person an integral, self-sufficient person who has every chance to live a full, bright, happy life.

About the Author:

Nigina Wellar – family psychologist. Her blog.

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