10 habits that ruin relationships

What can not be done if you want to live together happily ever after?

1. Dissolve in a partner

“You are my everything” (“You are everything to me”) was such a song in the 1970s, and it is still popular today. Romantic, right? Not really. You can’t assume that your partner is everything to you. After all, then it turns out that everything else, including you, your habits, goals, aspirations and desires, means nothing. Relationships, when one person dissolves into another and lives for him, cannot be healthy. Especially if the second partner does not require such sacrifices at all.

2. Always be in touch

Communication is good. This is the key to a strong relationship. However, constant communication is strange. I have a colleague whom a girl calls at least 12 times a day. Topics of conversation during calls are mostly minor: “Hi! I’m going to lunch. Have you already eaten? Well, good bye.” And after half an hour: “Can you imagine who I met in a cafe? Former classmate. You do not know her”. And an hour later: “I’m thinking, cook dinner tonight or order pizza.”

Such communication is adequate only for eighth graders. But in adulthood, you need to become more self-sufficient. It is not necessary to share with your partner every thought that comes to mind and report on every little thing that happens to you.

3. Take out a bad mood

You were yelled at at work, your coat was soiled in the subway, there was a queue in the store. You come home in a lousy mood, and … then your partner says something out of place. You fall for him. It is he who is to blame for the fact that your day was not a success! To do so is a special form of selfishness, indicating an inability to separate the personal from the general. If you behave like this all the time, you will soon believe yourself that your partner is the main reason for your bad mood. Then the relationship is over.

4. Control emotions

“You didn’t hug me hard enough”, “You’re not happy to see me”, “Why are you so serious”, “You don’t love me anymore”. You can’t constantly find out what emotions a partner is experiencing and why he does it. And it’s just as stupid to think that he is sad, sad or nervous solely because of you. Perhaps he is having trouble at work or he is tired.

It is normal to worry about the problems of another, especially if he is close to you. But you do not need to try to control and analyze his feelings all the time. If he wants, he will tell about everything.

5. Do everything together

Brush your teeth together, commute to work, spend your weekends, visit each other… what’s next? Wear the same T-shirts? No, it’s weird. The fact that you are together does not mean that now you have one common life for two.

People in a couple complement each other. You can and should even have different interests, hobbies, friends, biorhythms and habits. You don’t have to adjust your life for someone else. Moreover, every living person sometimes just needs to be alone.

6. Be extremely honest

Telling the truth is right, but you don’t have to tell your partner everything. He might be better off not knowing how much your shoes cost, that you don’t like the way he sings in the shower, and that you find his friend sexy. The main thing is not to get carried away. Some things that confuse or worry you are best discussed right away.

7. Settling scores

Some relationships eventually turn into a competition to see who screwed up the most. Partners begin at any opportunity to remember each other’s past grievances, mistakes and debts. This only exacerbates the feeling of dissatisfaction and mutual distrust. And in the end, it encourages partners to lie big, cheat and pretend.

8. To take care of

“You need to have lunch / dress warmly / drink medicine / go to the doctor” … When one partner turns into an annoying mom for the second, it’s annoying. Taking care of your loved one is great, but you don’t have to do it like it’s eight years old. He himself is able to decide when he needs to eat, how to dress.

9. Show off your relationship

This is the problem of our time. You are so happy that you want to inform the whole world about this through social networks. And now your page turns into a “memorial complex” of love with daily photos, sensual messages and confessions. Do not be surprised that friends are no longer able to like them.

10. Speak in hints

Instead of openly telling your partner about your problems, you are pushing him to the right solution. Say: “No, I’m not offended,” but with all your appearance you demonstrate the opposite. This is passive aggression, which shows that you are closed when communicating with a partner. This behavior causes uncertainty and irritation. It is better to be open about your desires, doubts and problems.