10 golden rules for living in an apartment with a mother-in-law

They say that the life of a young family with a mother-in-law or mother-in-law under one roof is a sure path to divorce. And, unfortunately, this hypothesis is confirmed by numerous examples when endless feuds on domestic grounds “killed” the strongest relationship of spouses.

Is it really, you say, that everything is really so simple and there are no ways of peaceful coexistence with a mother-in-law or mother-in-law in the same living space?

Psychologists say that it is quite possible to find a common language with the parent of your soulmate, being in close proximity to him, only you need to make an effort and adhere to the basic rules of communication with a new relative.

10 Spend time together with the whole family

At first, it may seem to you that the most correct solution would be to find as few “common ground” as possible with your mother-in-law or mother-in-law, and that’s when you will have fewer reasons for conflict. In fact, everything is not quite right.

Family psychologists agree on one thing: if relatives experience positive emotions when doing any business, then their relationship becomes much stronger and friendlier.

Therefore, do not be afraid to take your mother-in-law or mother-in-law for walks with children or for some recreational activities. Let her feel that you did not alienate her beloved child from her, but on the contrary, contributed to the strengthening of their family ties.

9. Do not make your mother-in-law/mother-in-law hostage to your bad habits

Mother-in-law or mother-in-law does not have to demonstrate your negative sides of character. In addition, she is absolutely not obliged to sacrifice her health because of your bad habit.

Therefore, if you smoke, try to do everything possible so that she does not suffer the consequences of this addiction. The same rule applies to other family members.

You may not know, but there are people who physiologically cannot stand the smell of cigarettes. If your mother-in-law or mother-in-law makes a remark to you, do not write it off as an senile fool – perhaps she really feels a lot of discomfort.

Therefore, do everything so that this smell does not exist in the house, otherwise the mother of your soulmate will have an aversion to you on a physiological level.

8. Praise her more often and louder

You know that a kind word – and the cat is pleased. And mother-in-law or mother-in-law, it is not just pleasant, but practically necessary, like air.

Passing at a certain age, most people begin to feel a strong need for recognition of their experience and their former merits. Therefore, if you want to satisfy this basic desire of a newly-made relative, then just compliment her and praise her, preferably in the presence of other family members.

Just don’t overdo it! Rough flattery can have the opposite effect, and your mother-in-law or mother-in-law will simply cease to respect you.

7. Keep your promises

This is an extremely important rule: fulfill everything that was promised to the mother-in-law / mother-in-law. Do not give yourself the opportunity to relax, and she – an extra reason to reproach you on occasion.

6. Avoid Arguments

You don’t need to get into a heated argument with her every time you feel that the truth is on your side. And by the way, advise you to stick to the same tactics and your soulmate.

In some fundamental issues, it is recommended to defend your position as gently as possible, but categorically, while not forgetting to first ask her opinion on this matter.

5. Help where you can

Try to provide all possible help with the housework. You don’t have to take on too much, or she might think you want to push her out of her own territory.

And it is advisable to offer help yourself – let her see that you are not indifferent to everything that happens in the house, and that you are ready to share responsibility for the life of the family with her.

Perhaps at first she will be unhappy with the way you peeled potatoes or washed the floor. Try to swallow it without resentment. Believe me, gradually her heart will thaw, and she will already feel the need for your help. Just give it time!

4. To the bathroom and toilet – according to the queue

Living with your mother-in-law or mother-in-law under the same roof, you willy-nilly have to get used to the rules of the coexistence of neighbors in a communal apartment.

It will be useful to make lists of visiting the bath and toilet, where the time of each of the tenants of the apartment will be clearly indicated.

If this is too radical for you, then just take an interest in her regimen and try not to occupy the “break room” during her time.

And get out of the habit of basking in the bath for three hours – this can bring even a very restrained person to an extreme degree of irritation.

Yes, living under the same roof with a mother-in-law is a forced domestic inconvenience that you just need to accept.

3. Intimacy is a secret with seven seals

This is quite problematic, but you will have to mask your intimate life in every possible way.

Unambiguous loud sounds coming from your room at night, groans or sighs, at best, can tritely interfere with her sleep, and at worst, they will trigger an insane physiological “mom” mechanism called: “My child is my property.”

Yes, this is rather strange, but many mothers whose children have their own families can experience real female jealousy towards their child, especially if your half is the only child in the family.

2. Be friendly

A fairly common problem when coexisting with a mother-in-law / mother-in-law is her exorbitant desire to take everything under her control.

She can persistently give recommendations on household issues, advise what products to buy, and decide on her own how to raise children. And when you try to point out her obsession to her, she may take it as a hostile attack.

The most important thing in such a situation is not to lose friendliness. Assure yourself that your mother-in-law/mother-in-law is guided by exceptionally good intentions – and only her activity is connected with this.

Move on to a discussion of pressing issues without going into a raised intonation. If you fundamentally disagree with her on any issue, then insisting on your own, make small “bribes” (this is what all talented diplomats do).

For example, do as you see fit, but after that give your mother-in-law / mother-in-law some kind of present.

1. Discuss the rules

If you know as much as possible about all the addictions and habits of the mother-in-law / mother-in-law, the better it will be for you. Keep in mind that older people depend on their habits.

It is harder for them to change their way of life. Therefore, the appearance of a new person in the house is an undoubted stress for the mother-in-law / mother-in-law. Therefore, do everything so that the lifestyle of this woman does not undergo drastic changes with your appearance in her apartment – this way you will save both yours and her nerves.