Not always the presence of children in a woman 30+ is explained by the lack of relationships or her desire. Sometimes for this there is simply no opportunity for health, and sometimes fears that sit firmly in the subconscious interfere. And no horror stories about the “last train” will work here.
1. I am still not old enough myself. All of us in our hearts remain children, even when we are slightly over 30. Especially when there is no desire to sort out problems, you imagine yourself as a little girl in the arms of dad. And as long as your parents are alive and you do not have your own children, you are still a daughter to someone. And unconsciously, delaying motherhood, we thereby refuse to grow up.
2. I will grow fat and stop liking my husband. Changes in the body are inevitable, and rarely does anyone manage to maintain a figure during pregnancy and quickly get in shape after it. Unless the body, slimness and fit are an end in itself. It is unlikely, of course, that a man loves us because of our figure, but for a woman, weight and appearance are the most important reasons for concern.
3. I am afraid of the very process of childbirth.… In a nightmare, the girl imagines contractions, unreal pain and complications that may arise. Fear that something might go wrong: after all, you do not know how it will be, this is something new, completely unknown. And there are plenty of scary stories at the “mom’s frums”.
4. I will raise my child wrong. It is difficult to give something to a small person when, it seems, it has not been possible to figure it out with his own cockroaches to the end. What if he grows up unhappy, ungrateful and generally disappointing?
5. I will not love my child. They say that a man’s love and affection for a baby arises over time, and if a woman does not want a baby, then love does not arise at birth. And she will never come again. Yes, there will be affection, warmth, care, but not love.
6. I am losing my professional qualities. For a long time, the decree in constant “mu, meow and woof” and communication with a child, a young mother can simply forget how to think. It is not for nothing that employers are in no hurry to hire women who have just left the decree. And if there were two in a row, then you will have to forget about the dream of a career.
7. Chose the wrong time. A rented apartment, the absence of a husband and financial problems, there is no one to help with the child, and at work, an important project must first be completed … but you never know what else.
8. Lose my sexuality. Hair and teeth deteriorate during pregnancy. Intimate muscles are stretched. And in general, in the bustle of caring for a child, there is simply no time for yourself! Just look at the honest maternal photos – a wrinkled T-shirt stained with milk, a face swollen from lack of sleep, dirty hair …
9. I will be addicted to a man. Even if the relationship with the child’s father does not work out, you will still have to interact with him in one way or another. Which, undoubtedly, will bring moral suffering not only to the mother, but also to the child.
10. My life full of travels and interests will end with the birth of a child… The fear of ceasing to belong to oneself is probably one of the strongest. That is why we most often wait for a favorable period and postpone motherhood for later. This goes on for a long time. And now we understand that we are no longer 30, but 50. And jumping into the last car is already problematic.
Anna Garsh, a practicing psychologist:
“A child is unconditional love. He will have to be accepted as he is, just the very fact of their existence. If you are ready to give your baby all your time, resources, the last thing there is, then you are really ready to become a mom. It is very important not to confuse the usual desire to cuddle the little one, your affection at the sight of a pretty baby with the desire to have a baby. “