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Passivity is not silence or lack of communication. The main thing is how we perceive our life: does someone owe us something? Are we waiting for the winds of change to blow? In the depths of our hearts, each of us is sure that we act on our own. Is this so, our favorite phrases will show.
Passivity is useful if it helps you withdraw into yourself and recuperate after an injury. But when it becomes the dominant strategy in life, it will do more harm than good. The problem is that we do not often think about this topic, considering ourselves an active person: after all, we make decisions every day and no one does it for us.
But we do not notice how obvious our passivity is to others. More than once or twice they hear from us phrases that only a passive person can utter.
How passive people see the world
1. “If it is written in the family …”: they trust their future to fate
Do you consider yourself an optimist because you hope for a miracle? In fact, this is a passive approach to life, which should give us something.
As Shura Balaganov said: “We are going, we are full, maybe happiness awaits us somewhere.” For which, quite reasonably, he received an answer from Ostap Bender: “Maybe it is still flapping its wings with impatience? Where, it says, is Admiral Balaganov? Why has he been gone for so long?”
Happiness waits for no one. He needs to be caught, he needs to be liked. At the same time, you need to work on your life and on relationships, even if they are quite successful. Not only to respond to emerging problems, but also to do “preventive repairs” in time.
2. Bad Luck Again: They Think Bad Things Only Happen to Them
First, there are good things and bad things in life. Secondly, it happens to everyone literally and without exception. Some of the troubles are clearly related to the fact that we ourselves did not take care of ourselves in time. In any case, it is important to prevent and minimize losses.
3. “So I’m not made for this”: failure in something is the final verdict for them
Imagine that in the life of every person there are both defeats and successes. We just don’t see everything.
In the life of successful people, there were even more of these defeats. Some defeats were simply deafening, because they swung at more global goals.
Imagine traveling by car. It happens that you drive without incident, it happens that a flat tire, and quite obviously after a certain time you run out of gas. Such things are part of every journey, but definitely not the end.
The right attitude to life’s troubles is helped by three qualities: patience, perseverance and perseverance.
4. “People are lucky”: they believe that without luck there is no success
Luck is not under our control, it cannot be planned. But there are things in your life that only you completely control: preparation, time planning and the amount of effort expended. Concentrate on them, and follow your luck out of the corner of your eye, like a float.
How passive people communicate
5. Their speech is hesitant
“Well, I don’t know, maybe it is.” It’s hardly pleasant to hear that, and it needs to be worked on. Patterns are amenable to change, make a conscious effort to get rid of a lot of introductory words and speak directly.
6. They seek your approval.
“Do you mind if I say a few words…” In a meeting in the midst of a discussion, when everyone is exchanging accurate and quick remarks, all of a sudden you come forward and say something like that. This in itself reduces the value of what you want to say.
7. They downplay their own worth.
“Of course, I’m not an expert, I don’t understand anything about this, but maybe …” “Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me …” If you start your speech with the fact that you are wrong, people will agree with you on this.
8. They find it difficult to determine their position in an argument.
“Of course, each of the proposals has its own merits, I find it difficult to whom to give preference.” You may think that in this way you minimize the conflict and support both sides, but in reality you look indecisive and even fearful.
How passive people give in to others
9. They always put the needs of others first.
“I might also order dessert, but if you want to pay, I won’t mind.” With this statement, you make it clear that your needs will continue to be in second place, and such will be the dynamics of your relationship. If you want dessert, just say so. If you don’t really want to, it’s better not to talk about it.
10. They say yes when they would like to say no.
“I actually have to get up early tomorrow, but of course I’ll drive you.” You do not want to offend anyone with a refusal, but this does not depend on the refusal itself, but on the form in which you do it. If you are sincerely sorry, but there is no way you can do it today, the refusal will be accepted quite calmly.