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Sleep time is approaching, but he does not want to go to his room: he suddenly urgently needs to call his grandmother or sit with everyone for another minute. He asks not to turn off the light and in general – can he sleep here, next to you? Your child is afraid of the dark. What to do?
Amantha, the daughter of clinical psychologist Doris Brett, was very shy, she was afraid to play with children on the playground and she was also afraid of the dark. The time was right to send her daughter to kindergarten, but Amantha did not completely believe the assurances of how good it would be there. It was then that my mother had the idea to tell her one story: “Annie lived in a red brick house, like ours. She had a dog just like ours, and she also had a dad and a mom, like Martin and me.” But most importantly, just like Amantha, at first she was afraid of everything …
The girl loved the story. Since then, every time Amantha had problems, she would come to her mother and say, “Tell me a story about Annie.” And Doris Brett made up a lot of stories: about how one day Annie’s friend didn’t want to play with her, and why Annie really wanted to go to summer camp, but she was afraid that everyone would find out her secret and would laugh, or why she was late for school every day . But all these stories were funny and with a happy ending, because Annie was not to take perseverance and energy! And surprisingly, after some time, there was no trace of Amantha’s shyness and fear. And Doris Brett has opened up a new genre of psychotherapeutic stories, written from the point of view of the child (and from the height of his experience), which imperceptibly tell him how to find a solution and take action on his own. And these amazing stories are loved by many children and parents.
Read more:
- Nightmares dream to help us
Only the experienced eye of a psychologist can see how psychologically competently these stories are written and how much everything is “hidden” in them. It is often difficult for children to talk about their fears openly, and sometimes they cannot name their emotions, their problem seems unique or “embarrassing” to them. When you start a direct conversation with children on a topic that is painful for them, they immediately close up, so that the matter no longer comes to advice. Listening to history is another matter entirely. In this case, the children are not taught instructions, they are not blamed or forced to talk about their problems – they just listen to the story of a girl, just like them, without interfering with their inner world. Don’t we adults do the same thing when we say, “What advice would you give to a friend of mine who has this problem?…” Sympathizing with Annie, who has exactly the same problem as himself, the child begins to identify yourself with it, and then suddenly it finds a way out – and it turns out that you found it too? ..
Read this story to your child if he is afraid of the dark, or better yet, compose it together: offer to guess what Annie thought, what will she do next? (By the way, it is possible and even useful to change the name so that it sounds close to the name of your child). The child will be happy to add something of his own to the story. Praise him and pay attention to what he says. He definitely tells you something important about himself.
Annie’s story
“Mom turned off the light. Annie heard her footsteps echo away. She felt very lonely and scared. Annie ducked under the covers, crawling deeper into the depths like a small worm crawling from an early bird.
It was safer under the covers. No one could see her, and she also could not see anyone. She was like invisible. How nice it would be to be a little invisible, Annie thought. – Then it would be possible to slowly sneak up to people and bark over their ears: “Uuuu” – just at the moment when they brought a spoonful of jam over their pancakes. It would also be great to hear what mom and dad are talking about so quietly, sending their beloved daughter to another room.
But here’s the trouble: to remain invisible under the covers is unbearably hot. And the trouble is that as soon as you stick your nose out from under the covers, you become visible again. So this plan is unlikely to be implemented. But, perhaps, fortunately for her, they still will not appear that night …
Slowly, slowly, quietly Annie crawled out from under the covers, opened her eyes and looked around. The room was pitch dark. But in the darkness, she could make out cupboards, curtains, and the thin, dim light of streetlights coming through the window. She saw her table. She saw…
– Ah-ah-ah! Annie jumped out of bed and ran screaming into the living room.
– Annie, Annie, my girl! What happened? Mom got worried.
– Monster!!! Annie gasped in fright. There is a monster in my room. And she wept.
Do you want me to go with you to your room? Mom asked.
Annie nodded.
“But first,” my mother said, “I must go to the kitchen … I have one little thing there that terrifies monsters.
– Oh, really? Annie rejoiced.
When they got to the kitchen, Annie’s mom opened a drawer and took something out. The object was shiny, blue in color, with a piece of glass at one end.
Annie looked at him with some doubt.
– This is a special anti-monster flashlight. The fact is that monsters are afraid of the light.
– Truth? Annie was surprised.
“Really,” Mom confirmed. – You’re afraid of the dark. Is not it? So, monsters are afraid of the light.
When they arrived at the room, Annie looked around carefully. She looked in the closet, behind the curtain and under the bed, but did not find a single monster.
“Now,” Mom said, “get comfortable in bed and don’t be afraid of anything – you are completely safe, and we will put your magic lantern here, next to your bed.”
“Okay,” Annie said. She felt safe next to her magic lantern.
“Good night,” her mother said goodbye to her and kissed her.
Annie closed her eyes and immediately fell asleep…
…The next morning, Annie asked, “Can I have a piece of cardboard and a big black felt-tip pen?”
“Of course,” Mom said. – Why do you need it?
“It’s a secret,” Annie replied. – I’ll show you when I’m done.
She went to her room and got to work. Annie came out an hour later. In her hands was a large piece of cardboard with the inscription: “Be gone, monsters! This room is guarded by an anti-monster flashlight.”
What are your monsters? Mom asked.
“They are vile and vile creatures,” Annie replied.
Why don’t you draw them? Mom suggested.
“Okay,” Annie agreed. She loved to draw. Annie painted the monsters as she had seen them the night before. She provided them with yellow eyes that shimmered in the dark, pointed teeth, and bright red tongues.
– Oh my God! Mom exclaimed. “They are really ugly. And yes, they are very evil.
“They were really mean,” Annie confirmed. “They were even angrier than I was when Jenny said mean things about me to Sarah and when I fell off my bike and when you wouldn’t let me stay to watch TV…” She stopped to take a break. “And it all happened on the same day.
“You know,” Mom said, “sometimes you can even befriend them or tell them how stupid they look. This confuses them, and the monsters just can’t stomach it. They are all worried about something or not satisfied. Some of them believe, for example, that they have too big ears or too red nose. Sometimes they even start to be afraid of you. And although they may seem very ferocious and evil, they are actually not as scary as many people think.
Several days and nights passed. Annie was in bed. I wanted to sleep, and my eyes began to close against her will. Suddenly, something flashed before his almost closed eyes. She opened them wider and peered into the darkness. In the corner of her room sat a BEAST.
Annie instantly grabbed her magic flashlight and turned it on.
The monster immediately recoiled. “Do not!” it squeaked. It was very strange that such a huge, ferocious monster could make such a pitiful squeak.
– No no! Not this lamp! it squeaked, backing away in panic. “Please turn the light aside.
“No, you won’t,” Annie said firmly. At least until you get out of here.
“This is wrong,” the monster yelled. “You must be afraid of me. – It stamped its paw. “This is wrong,” it repeated. – How can I be now? Now everyone will laugh at me. We’re supposed to be mean and scare people. And to her surprise, Annie saw that the monster was crying.
“And I know what to do if you get angry,” she said.
– So what? the monster asked cautiously.
“Come here, I’ll tell you,” Annie said.
The monster nodded anxiously at the flashlight, “But just turn that thing off or I won’t go.”
It came closer and sat down next to Annie, and she began to tell him how to release her anger by fluffing the pillow.
– That’s great! the monster rejoiced. And they began to beat Annie’s pillow together.
“I have a better idea,” the pillow squeaked. Why don’t you beat up the mattress?
But neither Annie nor the monster heard her words, because they were too busy: they rolled with laughter.
For more details, see D. Brett “Once upon a time there was a girl who looked like you” (Klass, 2006).