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She tricked him into marrying her. He was cunning not to take it. Nevertheless, it is this couple who are the patron saints of marriage. June 25 (old style) we honor Peter and Fevronia. What can we learn from their example? The psychodramatherapist Leonid Ogorodnov, the author of the “agiodrama” technique, reflects.
The story of Peter and Fevronia is an example of how you can learn to love each other regardless of the circumstances. It didn’t happen right away. They were surrounded by ill-wishers who did not want this marriage. They had serious doubts … But they remained together. And at the same time, in their pair, no one was an addition to the other — neither the husband to the wife, nor the wife to the husband. Each is an independent character with a bright character.
Plot and roles
Let’s take a closer look at their history in more detail and analyze it from the point of view of psychological roles.1. There are four types of them: somatic (bodily), psychological, social and spiritual (transcendental).
Peter fought the evil serpent and won (spiritual role), but he got the blood of the monster. Because of this, he became covered with scabs and became seriously ill (somatic role). In search of treatment, he is taken to the Ryazan land, where the healer Fevronia lives.
Peter sends a servant to tell her why they arrived, and the girl sets a condition: “I want to cure him, but I don’t demand any reward from him. Here is my word to him: if I do not become his wife, then it is not fitting for me to treat him.2 (somatic role — she knows how to heal, social — she wants to become the wife of a princely brother, significantly increasing her status).
The history of Peter and Fevronia is the history of the saints, and much of it will remain unclear if we forget about it.
Peter has not even seen her and does not know if he will like her. But she is the daughter of a beekeeper, a collector of wild honey, that is, from a social point of view, he is not a couple. He gives feigned consent, planning to deceive her. As you can see, he is not ready to keep his word. It contains both slyness and pride. Although he also has a spiritual role, because he defeated the snake not only with his strength, but with the power of God.
Fevronia hands over a potion for Peter and orders, when he takes a bath, to smear all the scabs, except for one. He does so and comes out of the bath with a clean body — he is healed. But instead of getting married, he leaves for Murom, and sends rich gifts to Fevronia. She does not accept them.
Soon, from the unanointed scab, ulcers again spread all over Peter’s body, the disease returns. He again goes to Fevronia, and everything repeats. With the difference that this time he honestly promises to marry her and, having recovered, fulfills his promise. They travel together to Murom.
Is there manipulation here?
When we put this plot on the hagiodrama (this is a psychodrama based on the lives of the saints), some participants say that Fevronia is manipulating Peter. Is it so? Let’s figure it out.
The healer leaves his illness untreated. But after all, she promised to heal him not in any case, but only if he marries her. She does not break the word, unlike him. He does not marry and is not healed.
Another interesting point: for Peter, their relationship is primarily social: “You treat me, I pay you.” Therefore, he considers it possible to break his promise to marry Fevronia and treats with disdain everything that goes beyond the social interaction «sick — doctor».
But Fevronia treats him not only for bodily illness and directly tells the servant about this: “Bring your prince here. If he is sincere and humble in his words, he will be healthy!” She «heals» Peter from deceit and pride, which are part of the picture of the disease. She cares not only about his body, but also about his soul.
Approach details
Let’s pay attention to how the characters get closer. Peter first sends messengers to negotiate. Then he ends up in Fevronia’s house and they probably see each other, but they still talk through the servants. And only upon the return of Peter with repentance does a true meeting take place, when they not only see and speak with each other, but also do it sincerely, without secret intentions. This meeting ends with a wedding.
From the point of view of the theory of roles, they get to know each other at the somatic level: Fevronia treats Peter’s body. They rub each other on a psychological level: on the one hand, she demonstrates her mind to him, on the other, she heals him of a sense of superiority. On a social level, it eliminates inequality. On the spiritual level, they form a couple, and each retains its spiritual roles, its Gifts from the Lord. He is the Gift of the Warrior, she is the Gift of Healing.
Reign
They live in Murom. When Peter’s brother dies, he becomes a prince, and Fevronia becomes a princess. The wives of the boyars are unhappy that they are ruled by a commoner. The boyars ask Peter to send Fevronia away, he sends them to her: «Let’s listen to what she will say.»
Fevronia replies that she is ready to leave, taking the most valuable thing with her. Thinking that we are talking about wealth, the boyars agree. But Fevronia wants to take Peter away, and “the prince acted according to the Gospel: he equated his property to manure so as not to violate the commandments of God,” that is, not to abandon his wife. Peter leaves Murom and sails away on a ship with Fevronia.
Let’s pay attention: Fevronia does not require her husband to argue with the boyars, she is not offended that he does not defend her status as a wife in front of them. But he uses his wisdom to outwit the boyars. The plot of a wife taking away her husband-king as the most valuable thing is found in various fairy tales. But usually before taking him out of the palace, she gives him a sleeping potion. Here is an important difference: Peter agrees with the decision of Fevronia and goes into exile with her voluntarily.
Miracle
In the evening they land on the shore and prepare food. Peter is sad because he left the reign (social and psychological role). Fevronia consoles him, saying that they are in the hands of God (psychological and spiritual role). After her prayer, the pegs on which dinner was prepared bloom in the morning and become green trees.
Soon envoys from Murom arrive with the story that the boyars quarreled over who should rule, and many killed each other. The surviving boyars beg Peter and Fevronia to return to the kingdom. They return and reign for a long time (social role).
This part of the life tells mainly about social roles that are directly related to spiritual ones. Peter “reveres for manure” wealth and power in comparison with the wife given to him by God. The blessing of the Lord is with them regardless of social status.
And when they returned to power, “they ruled in that city, observing all the commandments and instructions of the Lord impeccably, praying unceasingly and doing alms to all the people who were under their power, like a child-loving father and mother.” If viewed symbolically, this passage describes a family in which a man and a woman get along and take care of their children.
Together again
The life ends with a story about how Peter and Fevronia went to God. They take monasticism and each live in his own monastery. She is embroidering a church veil when Peter sends the news: «The time of death has come, but I am waiting for you to go to God together.» She says that her work is not finished and asks him to wait.
He sends to her a second and a third time. On the third, she leaves an unfinished embroidery and, having prayed, departs to the Lord together with Peter «on the twenty-fifth day of the month of June.» Fellow citizens do not want to bury them in the same tomb, because they are monks. Peter and Fevronia are placed in different coffins, but in the morning they find themselves together in the cathedral church of the Most Holy Theotokos. So they were buried.
Power of prayer
The history of Peter and Fevronia is the history of the saints, and much of it will remain unclear if this is forgotten. Because this is not just about marriage, but about church marriage.
It is one thing when we take the state as witnesses of our relations. If in such an alliance we argue about property, children and other issues, these conflicts are regulated by the state. In the case of church marriage, we take God as our witness, and He gives us the strength to endure the trials that come our way. When Peter is sad because of the abandoned principality, Fevronia does not try to persuade or console him — she turns to God, and God works a miracle that strengthens Peter.
The sharp corners I stumble upon in God-given relationships are the sharp corners of my personality.
Not only believers participate in the hagiodrama — and take on the roles of saints. And everyone gets something for themselves: a new understanding, new models of behavior. Here is how one of the participants in the agiodrama about Peter and Fevronia talks about her experience: “What I don’t like about who is nearby is what I don’t like about myself. A person has the right to be whatever they want. And the more he is different from me, the more valuable for me is the possibility of cognition. Knowledge of self, God and the world.
The sharp corners I run into in God-given relationships are the sharp corners of my own personality. All I can do is to get to know myself better in my relations with others, to improve myself, and not to artificially recreate my own image and likeness in my close ones.
1 For more details, see Leitz Grete “Psychodrama. Theory and practice. Classical psychodrama by Ya. L. Moreno” (Cogito-Center, 2017).
2 The life of Peter and Fevronia was written by the church writer Yermolai-Erasmus, who lived in the XNUMXth century. The full text can be found here: https://azbyka.ru/fiction/povest-o-petre-i-fevronii.