Game from the training «School of Happy Parents»
At the training (and now — the course of webinars) «School of Happy Parents» Marina Konstantinovna Smirnova invites parents to play the role-playing game «Change Roles» with their children. Imagine that you are a child, and he is your mother or your father (although he can be a grandmother, uncle, if he so desires).
The theme of the game can be anything. It is important that it fits into the context of your life and is interesting to both of you. You can spend part of the day in this mode, or just lunch, or half an hour after returning home from a walk. You can cook dinner together, or play with toys, or just talk (discuss in reverse mode an important situation for the child).
The time of the game can be any, be guided by your abilities and interest. As a rule, the younger the child, the shorter the game. But if you get carried away and see the meaning in it, then you can quite repeat the experience described below.
S.A., sketch from life
Evening. Sleep preparation. Polina is 4,5 years old, she puts her dolls to bed, digs for a long time. She looks for blankets for all the dolls, takes clean handkerchiefs. I look at this «outrage» for a long time, unable to stand it, I give an order.
Polina, put on your nightgown. Let’s go to bed faster. I want to sleep.
My smartest child, continuing to fulfill his responsible mission, calmly answers me like this:
“Mom, why do I have to do what you want all the time?”
I couldn’t find an answer for her. This is first. Then I thought that the smartest kids are sometimes born from the smartest parents.
Tomorrow was a day off, and I suggested to her:
— Well, then tomorrow is YOUR DAY — we live it as you want.
Tomorrow began from the moment when we almost simultaneously opened our eyes, and a question followed from me:
Polina, should I lie down or get up?
My little leader, assessing the situation, immediately «took the bull by the horns», especially since the bull himself asked.
I describe it briefly:
The morning before lunch was very unusual for me: they chose for me how I would do exercises (running sideways around the apartment, and jumping back and forth at a gallop, it was original in the morning). They chose for me what I would eat for breakfast (here I was happy for myself when my daughter chose rice porridge with milk, although she could have sandwiches with sausage, but it was clear she now cared not only about herself). At the end of my submission, I was offered a portion of cartoons (which I avoided with the pretext of washing clothes for the kindergarten, with which my kind leader condescendingly agreed). The rest of the day, I had to prove to my supervisor that we just needed to clean up the apartment, propolis and wash the car. It should be noted that I was unthinkably lucky, the management did not «bull» and basically agreed with me. In the evening, of course, I had to pay tribute: to play in a plastic house, where the little Winx dolls lived, who went to visit each other. Then everything was traditional, the management preferred the classic — a bedtime story, which we chose together.
What gives such a game?
- It is useful for a parent to be in the “skin” of his child, to feel his guidance in order to better understand what the child is like, how he can understand or not understand your commands.
- It is easier to see your own patterns that have already been mastered by the child. To rejoice at something: my child already knows this!, to think about something: “It turns out that I speak exactly like that, with such intonations!”
- The child masters the role of a leader, after that he better understands the difficulties of adults. It is important not to give tasks too difficult. If a mother wins back her child when he is completely crazy, the child will simply cry: “I don’t know what to do with you!” and won’t play this game again.