Mistakes of young mothers, what not to do

Mistakes of young mothers, what not to do

Something from this list must have been done by everyone: there are no ideal people.

Being a young mom is not easy both physically and mentally. For 9 months you were cared for and cherished, and then a baby is born, and all attention turns to him. No one else cares about your needs and interests. Plus a wild self-doubt: you can’t do anything, you don’t know anything about children. And there are a lot of advisers around, who once again hint that you are a so-so mother. With such an attitude, depression is not far. However, motherhood can be much easier and happier if women stop making these 20 common mistakes.

1. Believe that they are doing everything wrong

Young mothers are always self-flagellating. At first, many hope that the experience will come by itself, as soon as the baby is born. But, after returning from the hospital, women realize that they know very little about caring for a child, and they think that they are doing everything wrong. New mothers need to understand that motherhood is an experience that comes with time and practice.

2. Try to get in shape quickly

Celebrities often post photos of their ideal bodies on social media just a few weeks after giving birth. And this makes young mothers feel that they are obliged to regain their former forms in the same time frame. Although those around them think differently and do not at all expect such feats from a woman who endured and gave birth to a man.

All young mothers should remember: the extra pounds that have accumulated over 9 months of pregnancy cannot go away in a few days or even weeks. Therefore, you need to focus on a healthy lifestyle, and then the excess weight will gradually disappear by itself.

3. Trying to buy everything that is in the children’s store, even if there is no money for it

There are a lot of advertisements on the Internet for must-have things for a child. And not everyone succeeds in passing by. And even more so for mothers who want only the best for their child. And although later on many of the purchased women did not use, but the Internet says “must”, and women spend their last money in children’s stores on all sorts of nonsense. And if there is no money, they begin to reproach themselves for the fact that they cannot provide the child with a happy childhood with the best toys and educational products.

But believe me, a happy mother is much more important for a baby. Therefore, make a list of priority baby things that the child really needs. Also, check with other moms before you go shopping for another useless device for kids.

Young mothers are so busy with the child that they completely forget about themselves. Because of caring for a baby, a woman already refuses a lot. Therefore, without elementary trifles (lying in the bathroom, getting a manicure, dressing up in beautiful things, going to a cafe with friends), the life of a young mother becomes even more difficult.

To be a good mother and enjoy motherhood, a woman must remember: she also needs to take care of herself.

5. Trying to do all the household chores while sitting at home with your child

Many young mothers think that they can simultaneously work with the baby, cook, do the cleaning, and even carry out some of the errands that they used to do before the baby is born. Unfortunately, some women have no choice at all, because there is no support from relatives.

However, all this is very exhausting for young mothers. Therefore, it is important, at least for the first months, to transfer your responsibilities around the house to other people, and to focus on the needs of the baby.

6. Do not teach children to sleep

The most tedious thing in caring for a baby is getting up to cry in the middle of the night, and then putting the baby to bed for a long time. But what to do, children still have no other way to tell their mother that they are wet, hungry, that they are uncomfortable or they have a tummy ache.

Therefore, it is important for the mother to accustom the child to sleep as soon as possible, and this will greatly facilitate the life of both her and the baby.

7. Try to follow every advice

When a young woman is pregnant or has given birth, many people around her often feel that she just needs to be given advice. It doesn’t matter if they are asked for it or not. You will be taught how to hold the child, how to feed him, drink him and even dress him (“How is it, a child without a hat ?!”). Of course, some information may indeed be vital. But there may be bad advice that will only complicate a woman’s life. Therefore, before taking seriously everything that the experts around you tell you, it is better to first consult your doctor.

8. Compare your child with other children

It is important to understand that all children are different. Yes, there are some general norms for how babies should develop: in what month the first teeth will erupt when the baby starts to walk. However, not all children meet these standards. Some start talking early, others a little later, but this does not mean that the former will become more successful. Therefore, in every possible way, avoid comparisons with other children and focus on raising your child.

9. To receive guests when there is no desire and strength

The birth of a baby always attracts many friends and relatives to the house who want to look at the baby, hold it in their arms. But for mom, such visits are often stressful. Do not hesitate to explain to your guests that you won’t be able to arrange long gatherings – you have a lot to do. That you need to wash your hands before picking up the child and that you don’t need to kiss the child – now the baby can pick up any infection.

10. Do not consult with experienced mothers

A more experienced mother can make life for a new mother a lot easier. She went through a lot that a young mother still has to go through. And learning from other people’s mistakes is always easier.

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In the early days, mothers usually take babies in their arms with great care. And this, of course, is not bad. But for some, excessive care and anxiety go too far, complicating the life of the mother, and then the child. Babies are much more resilient than we think. In addition, it will not be possible to bind them to themselves – very soon they will grow up and want independence.

12. Don’t prepare for a baby

Some pregnant women put off baby shopping to the last. However, at a later date, women are increasingly tired, therefore, taking care of diapers, undershirts, and even more so repairing in the nursery becomes rather tedious activities for them. Worry about everything in the second trimester, when toxicosis has already receded, and you are still full of energy.

13. Build high expectations

Women who are about to become mothers often imagine how intense their life with a baby will be. But reality is often different from expectations. It is important to live in the present, forgetting that something went wrong as you planned. Otherwise, you can fall into a deep depression. If a young mother is worried that her current state is far from her expectations, she should seek support from relatives or even a psychologist.

14. Remove a man from a child

Often, young mothers take on all the care of the child, completely protecting the husband from these responsibilities. Instead of pushing your spouse away from the baby with the words “Give me it myself!”, Involve him in the process – show him how to properly care for the child, and devote the free time to yourself.

Even after 9 months of pregnancy, some young women still cannot accept that they are now mothers. They want to live the same life that they lived before the birth of the child, go to clubs, go on long journeys. But taking care of a newborn is now your job 24 hours a day. This means that you will have to sacrifice many familiar things for the good of the baby. Embracing change is the first step to a happy motherhood. In addition, the old life will return as soon as the child grows up.

16. To be sad because of the child

Moms need a lot of patience, especially in the early months. The constant crying of a child can bring a woman to a breakdown. And sometimes, when a newly dressed baby spits up lunch on his clothes, even this can bring a tired mother to tears. If this happens, then she urgently needs a break. Also, don’t let your child’s actions upset you. Believe me, he was not on purpose. And if you take everything to heart, life will become even harder.

17. Putting children in another room

Many parents are so excited about the arrangement of the children’s room that, of course, they immediately want to resettle their baby there. However, the couple soon realizes that it is much easier when the child sleeps in the same room with the parents – the constant rushing from the nursery to the bedroom is quite tiring.

18. Do not use pacifiers.

Some mothers are afraid that the baby, having got used to the pacifier, will no longer take the breast. Therefore, you should first establish breastfeeding, and then you can give your baby a pacifier with a clear conscience. The dummy is great for calming your baby and helping him fall asleep.

19. Worry about what others think

Everyone has their own ideas about how a young mother should behave. Everyone will find something to blame even an ideal mother for: you cannot please everyone. For example, women are often criticized for breastfeeding in public. However, the child has the right to food anytime, anywhere. So stop worrying about what others think of you. Do only what is right for your little one.

20. Trying to give the child the whole world

Loving mothers want to give their children everything, including things that never happened in their childhood. However, not all women succeed in this. And such mothers often torment themselves for not giving the child the best.

You need to understand that raising a child is a serious cost item. At the same time, babies almost never care about expensive toys. Most of them are simply happy to receive the attention of their mother.

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