Vacation. We are looking forward to it. We dream, we make plans. But often we return disappointed, moreover, tired! Why? And how do you really relax?
To pack a suitcase and go to distant lands … or to not too distant, but still new and unknown — a tempting prospect!
“For me, the most magical moment of the year comes when I go on vacation and lock my front door,” says 28-year-old Alina, “and I know that the next time I open it, I will not only bring new impressions, but I myself will change: it’s a little scary, but very fun, like before jumping into the water.
At least once a year, most of us turn into romantics, in whose sails the wind of wandering blows.
Adventurers
Why do we sometimes need to leave our home? One of the reasons is the desire to go beyond the ordinary. Over time, the look at familiar things blurs: we stop noticing the inconvenience and adapt to it — the metaphorical “hole in the wallpaper” is no longer annoying.
However, while traveling, we get to look at our lives from the outside, and when we return home, the first thing we notice is that very “hole in the wallpaper”. But now we are ready to change something, there is a resource for decision-making.
Traveling is also a search for: impressions, acquaintances, oneself. It’s always more than scenery, food, and dusty roads.
“This is experience, knowledge that there are societies with a different way of life, faith, lifestyle, cuisine,” says travel photographer Anton Agarkov. “I know those who have never left the house and call their life the only true one, but among travelers I have not met such characters.”
Leaving the house, we are freed from the usual life and everyday routine. Everything is new — the food, the bed, the conditions, and the weather. “We travel to understand that there is another life and that the view from the window can be more interesting than the wall of the neighboring nine-story building,” says Anton Agarkov.
In unaccustomed conditions, we turn on receptors that were previously asleep, and therefore we feel that we are living a more complete life.
What do I want
The trip is comparable to going to the opera: the broadcast can also be watched on TV, but if we dress beautifully and go to the opera house in high spirits, we get pleasure of a completely different kind, becoming participants in the event from outside observers.
True, it can be difficult to decide on a direction: there are too many temptations! Seeing another resort photo in a friend feed or being inspired by travel stories, we are eager to go on vacation, as if into battle. But would this ideal script work for us if it was written by someone else?
“Try to understand what your own resource is, without looking at Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) and the impressions of friends,” suggests psychologist Victoria Arlauskaite. “And if you still decide to follow someone else’s example and, say, are going to the mountains, go on a regular hike before that: probe the territory.”
Spending the night in the open means not only the stars above your head, but also the hard ground under your back. And it is better to assess in advance what amenities we can do without, and which ones are vital for us.
But at the same time, you should not scroll through the “movie” about the vacation in your head: the reality will still be different from the dream.
No fuss
When planning a vacation, allow time for a gradual exit from the working rhythm. Otherwise, there is a risk of falling into the situation that 40-year-old Olga describes:
“On the eve of departure, I hastily finish all the work, call relatives, write letters to friends,” she complains, “and get ready in a panic at the last hour! The first days of rest just disappear: I’m just coming to my senses.
To enter a relaxed state of rest and avoid emotional surges, rearrange your work schedule ahead of time, advises Victoria Arlauskaite.
Do not check your smartphone every minute, free your attention and direct it to yourself
Gradually get out of business and start packing a few days before departure. If you feel that you are too tense, contact a masseur or engage in light physical activity.
But here we are: in the country, on the seashore, in a tourist bus or in a new city. Often we want to immediately make a decision: is it good or bad, do we like this place or not. But the psychologist warns:
“Don’t evaluate or analyze, contemplate. Create a mental vacuum, it will allow you to immerse yourself in new sensations, let in new sounds, colors and smells. Do not check your smartphone every minute, free your attention and direct it to yourself.
less good
“My vacation looks like this: I watch a bunch of interesting films, I read five books at once, I go to every museum and restaurant that I meet on the way, and as a result I feel squeezed out like a lemon, so I need another vacation, and more,” 36-year-old Karina admits.
Often we try to make up for everything we missed during the year on vacation, sacrificing even sleep. But every minute of vacation does not have to be as intense as possible.
“If we eat all the dishes at the table at the same time, we feel bad, in the same way, if we want to see all the possible sights, there will be porridge in our heads,” explains Victoria Arlauskaite, “the picture is blurred from the abundance of impressions, and as a result we don’t rest, and we’re overloaded.» Focus on the main thing — your feelings.
It is better to plan a vacation based on your preferences. After all, if parents get pleasure from the rest, then children will be comfortable too.
Among vacationers, too concerned about the benefits, a large part are parents who are trying to enlighten their children. And sometimes they take the child to museums and excursions contrary to his desire and possibilities. The child is naughty, interferes with others, parents get tired and annoyed, and no one is happy.
“Be guided by yourself and remember that children, although the flowers of life, are not its focus,” the psychologist urges. — You lived a varied and rich life before they appeared, you will live the same way after they grow up and leave the house.
Of course, at first we focus on their regime, but it is better to plan a vacation based on your preferences. After all, if parents get joy from the rest, then the children will also be comfortable.”
stay to find
What if you spend your vacation at home? For some, this sounds like the perfect plan: to prioritize quality over quantity, pay attention to those around you, enjoy walks, sweet afternoon naps, bike rides, meet up with friends.
All these connections — with ourselves, relatives, nature, beauty, time — we sometimes lose in the daily bustle. Let’s ask ourselves the question: «Am I good at home?» And we will sincerely answer it, getting rid of ideas about the “right” rest and giving place to emotions and imagination.
For someone, the most valuable thing is home comfort and a familiar interior, which, if desired, can be decorated with new details, a flower or a lamp. Let vacation become a free creative space with which we are allowed to do whatever we want.
This experience will expand this attitude to other areas of life. And let’s not reproach ourselves for not doing anything special or outstanding. After all, this is the time that we devote to the main character of our biography — ourselves.