Almost every one of us has come across at work with people who constantly complain. As soon as something goes wrong, they expect you to drop everything and dutifully listen to what they are unhappy with. Sometimes they see you as the only person in the office they can «cry on the vest.»
Victor tries to run through the office as quickly as possible in the morning to his workplace. If he is not lucky, he will run into Anton, and then the mood will be spoiled for the whole day.
“Anton endlessly complains about the mistakes of our colleagues, talks about how much effort he spends on correcting their mistakes. I agree with him in many ways, but my strength to support him is no longer enough, ”says Victor.
Dasha is terribly tired of talking with Galya: “Galya is terribly annoying that our common boss always finds fault with trifles. And this is true, but everyone else has long come to terms with this character trait of hers, and I don’t understand why Galya is not able to see the positive aspects of the situation.
Who among us hasn’t been in a situation like this? It seems that we are ready to support our colleagues, but sometimes we ourselves do not have the strength to help them survive a difficult moment.
In addition, negative emotions are often contagious. In the absence of clear personal boundaries, the constant complaints of one person can adversely affect the entire team.
Is it possible to tactfully resolve such a situation, showing the necessary sympathy for the person and his problems, while not allowing him to “pull” you and other colleagues into his “swamp”? Yes. But this will take a little effort.
Try to understand his situation
Before you openly criticize the «whiner», put yourself in his place. It will be useful to understand why he seeks to share all his troubles with you. Some need to be listened to, others need advice or an outsider’s perspective. Find out what a colleague wants by asking them simple questions: “What can I do for you right now? What action do you expect me to take?»
If you can give him what he wants, do it. If not, then it’s not entirely your fault.
If you have a close enough relationship, talk to him openly
If every time you talk to a co-worker, he throws out a stream of complaints at you, it might be worth it to say outright that you are uncomfortable with his behavior. You, too, get tired and have the right to provide yourself with a positive or at least a neutral environment.
Or maybe you yourself unconsciously “invite” an employee to constantly share their pain? Perhaps you are proud that you can always turn to for help and support? This can be a sign of the «office martyr syndrome» in which we go out of our way to help colleagues with all sorts of problems as it makes us feel valued and needed. As a result, we often do not have time to perform our own tasks and take care of our own needs.
Move the conversation tactfully to other topics
If you don’t have a very close relationship with the «complainer», the easiest way is to briefly express your support and avoid further conversation: «Yes, I understand you, this is really unpleasant. I’m sorry, I’m running out of time, I have to work. Be polite and tactful, but do not engage in such conversations, and your colleague will soon realize that there is no point in complaining to you.
Help if you can, don’t help if you can’t
For some people, complaining helps in the creative process. For some of us, it becomes easier to take on difficult tasks by speaking up first. If you encounter this, suggest that employees allocate special time for complaints. By blowing off steam, your team can get to work faster.