Reader question:
Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst mother in the world. Often it simply doesn’t find anything, or looking at how other children already know what mine can’t. For example, the eldest is 6 years old, but she does not read yet. I don’t know how other moms do it all. I can hardly do that. How to raise a «good» mother?
Answer:
As a mother, I understand you very well. So many mothers sometimes feel that they do not correspond to the title of “good mother”. In such moments, the Declaration of Acceptance of Reality, which I wrote specifically for such cases, helps me a lot. Below is the text that I wrote for myself. You can use it, or write your own text, closer and more consonant with you. At first, I will suggest that you hang it in a prominent place, and every time you think that you are the worst mother in the world, read out the text of the Declaration. Then, you can just play it in your head.
Declaration «I am a mother»:
I know that there are no ideal mothers, in general, there are no ideal people. I accept that at some point in my life, I may not live up to my own idea of a «good mom». I perfectly understand that there are only twenty-four hours in a day and, sometimes, I may not have enough time to communicate with my child (children) to the extent that I would like. I agree that someday my knowledge and skills may not be enough to organize the process of education in the best way, from my point of view.
However, I will try to plan and organize my time in such a way that my communication will be enough for me and my child (children). I will find ways to be an interesting mother for my child (children): spend time together in a way that is most useful and interesting for the child. I will develop my child (children) to the best of my ability and his abilities. I already have enough knowledge and skills to raise a healthy, successful, happy child(ren) and will regularly increase my knowledge and skills.
The next step, I suggest you make a list of four to five things that you really want your children to learn to do in the near future. For example, it can be: reading, dressing yourself, dancing. And start teaching this to your children, either send them to the appropriate circle, or hire a tutor.
I know that sometimes it is easier to draw up an action plan than to put it into practice, to harmoniously integrate all the steps into the current rhythm of life. Therefore, as soon as you follow the recommendations described in the article, you can contact me, and I will be happy to help you raise a “good” mother in yourself.