How to make good things happen to you at Christmas


How to make good things happen to you at Christmas


The expert Marian Rojas-Estapé knows the keys so that Christmas days are an opportunity to gain momentum and not for an unattainable sadness to approach us

How to make good things happen to you at Christmas

Are you one of those who like Christmas or, on the other hand, do you hate it? These dates so marked in the calendar have become the worst time of the year for many people who, for some reasons, do not see sense of these days of celebration and, sometimes, waste. Characterized by being a month of joy, lights, people everywhere, Christmas carols and other merrymaking, December is one of the most feared months. The reason? In many cases it addresses the feeling of sadness when taking stock of the previous eleven months, of what has been lived, achieved and also what has been left behind … It is, par excellence, the month of consumerism and also of reunions . Marian Rojas-Estapé, psychiatrist and author of the best-selling book «How to make good things happen to you», knows the keys to ensure that the days of Christmas They are an opportunity to gain momentum and not for an overwhelming sadness to approach us.

The expert, who sees it necessary to talk about sadness at Christmas, does not conceive of the fact that one has to be happy because social networks and society in general demand it. The writer and philosopher Luis Castellanos already warned: «It seems that happiness is in difficulties to inhabit the world because, on many occasions, its search produces more suffering than well-being.

Marian Rojas-Estapé reinforces her words: «Christmas has a component of sadness that you have to learn to manage. There is a general obsession with being happy. It seems that we have an obligation demanded by society to show ourselves happy, to show that nothing affects us, that there is no suffering … Suddenly we are approached with books, podcasts, videos … that constantly talk about finding happiness. I believe that happiness is a very difficult concept to achieve in this life, if not practically impossible, “says the psychologist. In fact, the title of his book («How to make good things happen to you») Is not accidental. «It is very well thought out because I did not want to put the word happiness. For me it is not defined, it is experienced. They are moments in which you connect with the good things that happen on a day-to-day basis. Life is drama, it has suffering, it has a feeling of sadness, anguish … and we cannot hide those emotions, “says Dr. Rojas.

However, it is in this time of year when this obsession is accentuated and the society that surrounds us also seems to be guilty of this happening. «At this time everything has to be wonderful. Happiness depends on the meaning we give to life, so the Christmas in particular, it depends on the meaning we make of it. There are those who find at the end of the year a religious, family, illusion, rest, moment of consumption… ”, explains the expert.

Prepare for the arrival of Christmas

It is not that you have to do a daily ritual for the brain to assimilate that Christmas is about to arrive, but that you take into account some aspects of your life and use them to your advantage. “Each one has to know how he gets to that Christmas. There are Christmases to which you arrive happy because you have had a good year, you are going to be with loved ones, there are events that you want to go to … On the other hand, there are years when you do not have the same vision because someone in the family suffers from an illness , there has been a loss, economically I am not well … Every Christmas It’s a world. It is good that you prepare yourself to know how you want to live it », advises Marian Rojas. «You have to accept that maybe it is a Christmas that you don’t want to come but that you are going to try to have the best possible time. If you have lost someone, it is a good time to remind them. On these dates the people who have left are more present in our mind. It is a moment to remember them without being something dramatic, without obsessing over all these days, “says the doctor, who has produced a series of Tricks so that this Easter is a moment of conciliation.

Try not to eat unhealthy. “It seems that sometimes you have to give gifts to make and spend money on purchases. Many times a phrase, a letter, a Christmas postcard is much more beautiful and costs much less », explains Marian Rojas-Estapé.

You have to make sense of Christmas. «There is enthusiasm, affection, solidarity and we must not forget that at Christmas one seeks to make others happy, to connect with the interior and with the essence of things. At Christmas many people forgive each other, they reconcile, ”he says.

Avoid conflicts. «If you have to share space with a person who has made your life impossible, have a cordial treatment. Do not get involved in conflict issues, focus on the people you love the most, “advises the expert.

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