How to love your child; i hate my kids

How to love your child; i hate my kids

A reader of healthy-food-near-me.com wrote a frank letter to the editor. The woman is sure that many mothers share her point of view and live the same way, they just do not speak about it openly.

“It is customary to talk about your children with trepidation, aspiration and endless love. What if you don’t love your child? No. You are not tired of it, and this is not a “temporary state”. You just don’t love him, period. Unfortunately, I personally was able to frankly admit this only 10 years after the birth of my daughter. At first I thought that negative emotions were caused by a difficult pregnancy, then by difficult childbirth, and then by sleepless nights and endless illnesses of the child, but later I realized that it was all about the lack of love for him. Perhaps my experience will be interesting and useful to someone, so I will tell you about everything honestly, ”Natalya wrote to us.

“We did not live long with our daughter’s biological father (forgive this word). It is corny that they did not agree with each other. There was a bright love and, as a result, pregnancy, and then – bitter disappointment and parting. Everything about my civilian husband irritated me: how he eats and how he brushes his teeth, how he smells and what words he uses, how he cleans his ears with cotton buds and how he scatters socks around the house … When we parted, I sighed with relief, and then I started everything to see it in my daughter. She did exactly the same! And even in the nose constantly picking like him! And every time I saw it, I could not resist, saying: “Like a papa!” or “I took all the nasty things from my father.” And, of course, she did it with anger. How else, if fate, as if in a mockery, laid all the bad qualities of my failed husband into my newborn child ?!

Endless poop and wild screams at night will bring at least someone to the handle

After the birth of my daughter, I do not remember the bright and joyful moments. Probably, they were only when relatives let me go from home to give me the opportunity to walk and be alone. Everyone thought I had postpartum depression and tried to help me somehow. Once I even went to sea for a week. WITHOUT A Daughter. But when I returned, it didn’t get any easier. Endless poop and wild screams at night will bring at least someone to the handle, and the daughter often cried. Now the stomach hurts, then the teeth are cut, then the wet one lies. They say that for everyone, but personally it seemed to me that my child is constantly unhappy. Later, the doctor said that her daughter did indeed have some problems with the nervous system, which is why she sleeps poorly, is nervous and smiles a little.

I didn’t want to take my child in my arms, spend a lot of time with her, and even just touch. For you to understand, I am not an antisocial element or a “cuckoo mother”, and in everyday life my daughter had everything she needed. There was only love on my part. However, I carefully concealed it …

And then she ruined my relationship

When Eve was four years old, I had a man. He was affectionate, kind and caring, and I understood that a real line of unmarried and divorced people was now forming for such men, so I tried to charm him and surround him with care as much as possible. I did not tell him about my daughter, thinking to tell him later. Everything went well until my man offered to go with him on a long vacation. And it must happen that it was at this time that the daughter fell off a large hill and received two fractures at once. It required not just treatment, but hospitalization. My grandmother refused to go to the hospital, and I had to tell my man everything. According to him, he was shocked that, as a mother, I was hiding my child and wanted to leave him for a long time with a “strange uncle”. After that, the man blocked my number and flew away alone. Someone will say that Eva is not to blame for this, but sometimes it seems to me that she has some sixth sense when I can leave her for another life (get married, go on a business trip, etc.) and deliberately get sick, injured, or starts throwing tantrums to annoy me!

A teenager with a bad temper

Eva is now a teenager. She goes to school, and she has everything that children of this age dream of. Several times we even went to the sea with my daughter (the doctors recommended the sea air to her). I didn’t have love. Responsibility – yes. Interest in her affairs is possible. But definitely not love. Moreover, over the years, there have been more problems with my daughter. Only now, endless difficulties with studies and an insane craving for the Internet (he can sit there for hours) have added to the unsociable character. I tried to talk to her – it’s useless. Closes and is silent. I went to a psychologist (alone and with my daughter) – it did not help. So I just decided to leave it as it is.

And now – the main thing. To dot the i’s and not hear from readers that I just can’t love anyone. I recently found out that I am pregnant again. And it was real happiness !!! Now I realized that I was truly ready and not afraid of anything. And this is conscious motherhood, and I really will have a very desirable child, whom I secretly asked the higher powers. And they heard. And again they sent me a girl, and I do not hide the fact that I already love her endlessly. The second motherhood, even from the first day, is fundamentally different from the first. And even a terrible toxicosis frustrates with only one thing – will it harm the future daughter? Yes. It is already known that I will have a girl again. This will happen only in five months, but I already choose tiny outfits, beautiful toys and the most expensive and comfortable strollers and cribs. And I often see my baby in a dream. She seems to be blonde and blonde. Ahead of questions, I will say that I also did not begin to live together with the father of my second child, but what does it matter if he has already left me the most important thing in life. Beloved baby! “

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