Life examples
Rudeness
The boy is 10 years old. The family suffers from the fact that a young boor is growing up, who can, at the request of a sick grandfather, go and buy fruit, answer the gu.e.: “You need it, you go.” DOES NOT understand that business first, that is, lessons, then partying and entertainment. As a result, at 10 pm, tantrums, because. the lessons are not done on time, and at this time the little head no longer understands to study. Time to sleep. Mom is not an authority, dad too. But since the parents chose such tactics of education, they are not very bad for him. But the grandmother, who feels bad from such rudeness of her grandson, becomes nasty for him from time to time, because. still trying to set him on the right path.
The solution
Strict rules
The first thing you can do is rally, stop giving in to him and go for the conclusion of “compromises”. This will wean your child to get his way, playing on the difference in your views and positions. Yielding in something contrary to the rules established in your family, you do not get closer to a teenager, but only teach him how to avoid responsibility for any misconduct. This may play a cruel joke on him in the future.
Once and for all, set some restrictions and rules and follow them relentlessly. For example, if a teenager wants to go for a walk, then he must complete before or after, but then calculate the time, some household chores (take out the trash). But first, you explain to the child that you have not practiced this before, and this is your mistake, that you did not teach the child responsibility.
Give your child a clear example that you are responsible for your actions and mistakes. Be prepared for some resistance from him, as you have to some extent encouraged his actions aimed at circumventing the rules. Take his words “I will do what I want” not as an insult, but as a call for help. These words are an attempt to make you react to him in some way. Showing disrespect to you is an expression of his attitude towards himself, his self-esteem, which is based on his identification with you. Not respecting his parents, he cannot respect himself, which gives rise to conflict.
Trainings for teenagers and parenting trainings
Trainings for teenagers are useful not only because they teach constructive behavior and the ability to build relationships with adults, but also because they allow a teenager to know and accept himself, to realize his feelings and learn how to talk about them. Parent training is just as important, as many parents are simply unable to create strict rules for their children, having lived without rules for many years. Usually, parents need to understand in which direction to move in their particular family. And the example of other parents who have coped with a similar situation and established contact with their child will encourage and give strength.
The choice of trainings must be approached very seriously, because once you get to an unqualified trainer, your child may lose interest in all trainings and get angry at others who have encroached on his inner world. In Russia, the largest training center is the Sinton Center. The children’s and youth direction of Sinton and the School of Happy Parents have been working for many years and help children find harmony in themselves, and as a result, in the world around them, and parents enjoy raising their own children. Recommended.