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How to help children to believe in themselves and avoid failures in education? First of all, talk to them as equals and see them as full-fledged individuals. And most importantly, support children in any situation. This is the only way to instill confidence and healthy self-esteem in them, our expert believes.
See personality
Use a subjective approach: do not teach the child what he needs, but perceive him as a complete person. The way to build self-confidence in a small interlocutor is to communicate with him on an equal footing, listen to how he expresses feelings and what he says.
Support
Be on the side of the child, even when he is wrong. To support does not mean to approve of his behavior, support is to say that there are situations in which you can help him. Together try to understand what the child wanted to say with his behavior, even if he was dragging a cat by the tail. Offer solutions to the problem and help in correcting the situation.
Control yourself
The phrase «the child brought me» is not true. 99% of parents control emotions alone with the boss, but this program fails with children. Why? Children cannot “strike back”, and therefore you can afford more with them than in communicating with the leadership. But even one word spoken in hearts can seriously affect a child’s self-esteem.
Broadcast interest
If parents are always ready to lend a shoulder to each other, then the child has the right to expect that they will support him too. If you taught a child that there is nowhere to wait for support, then later it will only be possible to lament that he did not turn to you. Tell him: “It is so important for me to know what is happening to you, otherwise I will not be able to support you.” And then he will know that he will be helped in any case.
Show your weakness
We all have periods of ups and downs. And we are all able to choose whether to move on or decide that this is not the case for me. Letting your child support you when things don’t work out is a wonderful experience for both.
Do not rush to conclusions
Do you see how your child hit another kid on the playground, and it seems to you that the latter suffered undeservedly? Don’t be quick to blame. Imagine adults in their place. What will you do if your partner hits another? Try to figure out the reasons.
And even if he is really wrong, then most likely you will still be on his side.
However, such a proposal can be confusing, since it seems that it is easier with adults than with children. That we have answers to all questions, and children are small, meaningless creatures that we must manage. But it is not.
Don’t discount
Approving or disapproving the actions of others — including children, giving them an assessment and advising on how best to act, we act as demigods, and even gods. Which ultimately can lead to inner lack of freedom and disbelief in the child’s own strength.
Children learn much faster than adults. And in order to learn the formula “whatever I do, I do it wrong”, you need very little effort. And to “I still can’t do anything” is within easy reach of her. A negative assessment of work or what is dear to you always leads to a decrease in self-esteem. It’s the same with children.
Don’t suppress
«Quiet, leaders, outsiders, bullies …» — do not hang labels on children. And do not discriminate against others by age («You are still small»). Children, like adults, are different. The child’s self-confidence does not breed rudeness. Children can be rude to another only when they are rude to them. And in order for a child to reproduce something, he must first learn it somewhere. And if a child begins to suppress another, it means that someone is already suppressing him.