Changing diapers, preparing meals, cleaning the house, washing the children, planning appointments… Being a mom is not easy! Do you feel like you have a full-time job at home?
Are you overwhelmed with the multitude of tasks to do when you come home from work at night?
In this article, we are going to talk about mom’s life, and above all, find solutions to live it fully!
Why is being a stay-at-home mom like 2,5 full-time jobs?
Being a mom today, in our western society, is a real full-time job (without being paid of course!). We are paid all the same with the love that we receive from our children and to see them grow up, frankly, that is priceless!
According to INSEE, in Europe, single-parent families fell from 14% to 19% between 1996 and 2012. And in Ile de France, 75% of single mothers, in addition to their job, take care alone and actively of their toddlers.
What is a solo mom? She’s a mom who takes care of everything herself, without having the help of a companion! (1)
Personally, I find it takes tremendous courage and amazing mental strength to raise a child on your own. Because let’s be honest, raising a kid is not innate and does not come naturally.
Except for some who have it in their blood and who make it their job (maternal assistant, nanny, super nanny!).
However, it’s not just solo moms who suffer. Being a mom in a relationship also has its share of inconvenience. Mental load, do you know? I invite you to go see Emma’s comic book which popularized the term on the web. (2)
The mental load is the fact, for a mother, of thinking alone about all the chores of the house to do (cleaning, doctor’s appointments, washing up, etc.).
Basically, we have to think of everything, while we live with a partner, who is just as responsible as us in the education of the toddler. It takes 2 people to have a child, even if as a mother, our body has created everything on its own for 9 months.
According to a study by Welch College in the United States, carried out on 2000 American mothers who have a child between the ages of 5 and 12, mothers work almost 98 hours per week (time spent with children included), which is the equivalent of 2,5 full-time jobs. (3)
So, all this can quickly turn into full time multiplied by 2 if we don’t get help!
How to be more fulfilled in your life as a mother?
There is an African proverb that says: “It takes a whole village to raise a child.” To raise a child, you have to take this into account. We have of course brought him into the world, and we are responsible for our child and his development.
But that does not prevent a child, for it to be properly developed, must be surrounded by several people. A strong entourage will give him the complementarity necessary for his development.
So if you can, ask the family or friends, or the nanny to help you, (with homework, or accompany the little one to his club on Wednesdays, etc.) because you don’t have to do everything yourself. – even under the pretext that you are the mother. (4)
Do not stay alone, invite friends or family over to the house, go out to discover parks, faraway places, travel, do new activities with your children or alone. It will do you and your child a lot of good.
It is important that you are yourself with your children and that you make time for yourself, if possible. We are all different, and each raises their children differently.
There is no single, miracle recipe to turn your toddlers into “super toddlers” or to transform you into “super mom”. You are already great the way you are.
Do not listen to moms who know everything or for whom everything is going wonderfully, since it is totally false. Don’t beat yourself up if you prefer to work full time to thrive at work. If you are made to work there is nothing to be ashamed of.
And if you decide to work part-time to spend more time with your cherubs, or more time for yourself, don’t hesitate to take the plunge!
The important thing is to please yourself and meet your needs, listen to yourself! Be yourself, that is, imperfect. It is the best ingredient to add to your life and your children will develop better if you are okay with yourself and not get frustrated.
It is the best thing one you can give to your children. Turn your mom job into a dream job. You can do it.
There are solutions to appreciate her life as a mother.
- Do sports or relaxing activities (yoga, meditation, dance, etc.).
- Don’t feel guilty about being a mother anymore and take it fully. And also fully assume yourself.
- Don’t listen to the “we say that” or “everything is fine with me” or “you have to do it like that”.
- If you want to work full time or if you prefer part time, go for it. If you want to backpack the world with your toddlers, go for it!
- Find the activities and lifestyle that are right for you and what will bring you great personal satisfaction.