Contents
The doll, the essential object to replay everyday life
While she was on her way home with her mother, it was on purpose that Lorine, 2 and a half, left her doll on a bench in the square. “When I retraced my steps to retrieve the toy, my daughter intervened. She grabbed the doll, put it back on the bench and exclaimed firmly: – All alone! It seemed to mean a lot to him. The scene had already occurred the day before. To defuse the crisis of tears that I felt emerging, I tried to find out more. Lorine ended up telling me: – All alone, like with Tata. ” This event put Erika and her husband on alert, who discovered what they could not imagine: during the day, the person who had been taking care of their daughter for several months at their home was absent regularly, leaving her alone, the time of a race or a coffee. A testimony which underlines that playing with dolls is not futile.
Don’t interrupt his game!
For a child, playing with dolls is not preparing for his future job as a mum or dad. This is the opportunity to replay scenes from his daily life to better understand them, question them, tame them, stage them. However, do not take everything in the first degree: do not panic if your child makes his bather drink the cup when he soaps it in his bath or if he takes the salt shaker from his mini-kitchen to spit his buttocks. The game is free, the gestures are sometimes a little awkward, and the imagination reigns supreme even if it is inspired by reality. While being attentive to your child, let him play as he pleases so that he expresses and stages what he wants. Let him turn the fake tube of ketchup into a fake tube of liniment, don’t interrupt and intervene only if he asks you to. Symbolic doll play is serious business that requires concentration, creativity and privacy. A lot of times at these times, your little one will just need to know that you are not far away, and to meet your eyes once in a while to feel reassured and “authorized” to play. Your discreet presence is all the more important if he needs to unload himself emotionally by staging feelings of anger, fear, jealousy or discomfort that he has already personally experienced or witnessed: “You weren’t a nice doll, I’m angry. Very very angry! ” Listening to him, do you have the impression that he screams ten times louder than you when you get carried away? He throws his doll on the ground when you obviously never did that with him? How you feel as an adult and what you experience as a child are two very different things. Question yourself if you find him useful, but don’t question what he needs to externalize and verbalize. Don’t ask him to stop. Don’t tell him he’s exaggerating. Even less that he is mean. He just plays a role. If he understands that he must have an irreproachable attitude with his doll, that you direct some of his actions, that he feels intrusive or disapproving, his game will be limited and he will eventually abandon it. So just respect your kid and trust him: by reinterpreting things in his own way in the form of a game, he regulates certain emotions, takes a step back, sometimes goes beyond situations which, until then, could pose a problem for him. A child who plays with dolls is a little bit that matures and grows, that acts and reacts.
From observer to child actor
The lack of autonomy, the frustrations and the submission to the instructions and the rhythm of life of adults punctuate the daily life of a toddler. Whether he lives your authority rather well or rather badly, he depends on you for everything. In this context, playing with dolls also means taking a little power, leaving observation or passivity to become fully involved in all those things reserved for adults or for those older than oneself. Thus, an 18-month-old pitchoun who has never hugged his little brother will be delighted to carry his bather to the four corners of the house or to pretend to breastfeed him. A 2-year-old child who is still placed on the changing table five or six times a day will have great pleasure in reversing the roles and offering his infant a very clean diaper: “Did you pee? Come on! ” Mastering or having the impression of mastering the closing of the diaper, the application of the cream for the buttocks and the rhyme that goes with it, what a joy for a toddler. Around 3 or 4 years old, at school from morning to night, he will be happy to recreate part of the class at home and remind his little students of the rules of living together. Including, and above all, those he finds it difficult to integrate himself: “Hold hands to go to the canteen; Don’t hit your comrades; Don’t tear up Kevin’s drawing! ” The scenarios will therefore evolve according to age, environment and maturity.
A doll neither sad nor smiling
From 15-18 months, so that your child can develop freely in this type of game, put a baby at his disposal. Neither in the depths of his toy box (he must be able to find it with ease), nor directly in his arms: he may not want it, not need it right away, not all the time. Portrait of the ideal infant or doll for less than 5-6 years old: a “baby” or a young child who looks like him, neither too light nor too heavy, neither too small nor too big, easy to carry and handle. That is to say no giant doll that could impress him or that he would have difficulty carrying alone, no heeled Barbie, One Piece or Ever After High action figures, let alone Monster Highs which are meant for tweens. The ideal infant or doll should not have any marked facial expression either: he should not be sad or smiling, so that the child can project on him the feelings and emotions of his choice. And just as the adult shouldn’t direct the child’s play, the doll shouldn’t dictate to the little one: “Give me a hug; give me a bottle; I’m sleepy, where’s my bed? ” The playing time would be shortened and impoverished. Opt instead for safe values such as Waldorf dolls to make yourself or to buy by clicking on fabrique-moi-une-poupee.com, www.demoisellenature.fr, www.happytoseeyou.fr. From the catalog of widely distributed brands such as Corolle, choose simple models like Bébé Câlin and its winter pilot suit with Velcro (from 18 months) or My classic baby (from 3 years old), this list is obviously not exhaustive.
Clothing and accessories adapted to his abilities
From 15 months and for very long years, also choose models such as Rubens Babies from the brand Rubens Barn with their eyes closed, which leave no one indifferent with their upturned nose, arched legs and plump thighs. Admire them or hate them in particular on the online store of Oxybul, where they just made their debut at the end of 2014. Among the little ones, they won all the votes: 45 cm in height for a minimum weight of 700 g, diapers to be scratched and unscathed without difficulty by the little hands of children and a bath cape in which to wrap the fabric baby in the blink of an eye, when other brands continue to market clothes sewn to the body of toys or too complicated to put on by the youngest. The clothes must indeed be adapted to the capacities of the child so that he does not encounter any major difficulty while playing, and can thus devote himself fully to the game of “pretending”. Ten-button cardigans require great dexterity, that will be for later. As for accessories, the same thing: up to about 3-4 years old, children need very basic things that are not very miniaturized. The less figurative and sophisticated it will be, the richer the game and the imagination it generates! No need to spend a fortune: a plastic basin bought at the supermarket will be perfect for the bath. A real mattress for a bassinet or cot placed on the floor will be ideal for the young child to sleep his doll without difficulty. You got it: toddler doll play should never be an insurmountable test in fine motor skills, let alone a fashion lesson or childcare class. Just a space of freedom to replay everyday life, invent possibilities and always go further.
Do you want to talk about it between parents? To give your opinion, to bring your testimony? We meet on https://forum.parents.fr.