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We always want to do well with children, but sometimes we don’t know what attitude to adopt to be a model parent. We then find ourselves moving earth and sky, offering disproportionate gifts or organizing extraordinary activities.
However, childhood already has this superb advantage of being the realm of wonder! There is therefore no need to be in excess to please your child, it is in simple things that he will fully develop.
What are the pillars of children’s happiness? Here is a little driving guide for parents: 9 things that make children happy.
1- A secure environment
If we take the satisfaction of basic physiological needs for granted, the need for security comes first in Maslow’s pyramid (hey yeah, go revise your psycho lessons!).
For the child, the environment is a thousand times more frightening than for us and the emotions are multiplied. The need for security is therefore also increased tenfold.
Thus, avoid being abrupt or unpredictable, he must be able to count on you at all times. Show him that he can feel safe from all danger at home, and reassure him about his irrational fears (imaginary monsters, animals, clowns, thunderstorms, etc.).
2- Caring parents
Always encourage your child to discover or learn and reward their daily efforts. Do not hesitate to compliment him when it is deserved (useless praise, we do without!).
Avoid criticism, instead offer him a constructive approach to improve where he fails. Finally, take care of your language, from an early age children understand everything and are real sponges.
3- Models at your fingertips
You don’t think you’re perfect… he is! You are his model, his hero, you make him dream and he only aspires to become like you, so be exemplary. You have to show him that you are above all happy.
Show enthusiasm, drive, resilience when needed. A little one who sees his parents feeling sorry for their fate will soon imitate them.
Also note that you are not the only identifying figure that he will use to construct his identity. If you therefore need to have your child looked after regularly, choose your nanny according to these same criteria.
To read: How to train your mind to be positive
4- Show him that you trust him
Between adults, demonstrations of trust only appear when there is a real stake. With the little ones, this condition is not necessary! The little moments of freedom, of autonomy that you give him are enough to make him feel taken seriously.
Likewise, entrusting him with small daily tasks will show that you believe in him, that he can be useful! Nothing better to boost your self-esteem (it tends to falter for nothing during childhood).
Some silly examples: “Can you go tell daddy that I need him?” Its very important ! »,« If you put the cover it would help me a lot! “,” Will you help me put away your little sister’s toys? “.
5- Know how to be firm
The best parents, if they are not stone walls, are not marshmallows either. When it’s no, it’s no. When it’s later, it’s later.
Be careful, however, never to leave him in the dark: when you refuse him something, always explain to him why, and do not stay on a negative note.
“No, no TV tonight, you have to sleep well to be in good shape at school!” If you clean your room, we’ll go to the funfair tomorrow, do you mind? »And presto, we turn a refusal into a motivating challenge.
6- Let him develop his own personality
Maybe you thought you would father a mini-you, it’s missed! Your child is indeed a full-fledged being with his own tastes! You might be outgoing, full of friends, passionate about math and music.
Reserved for him, loves literature and nature. Help him to build himself, assert himself around it, encourage him to dare to venture towards what he loves.
7- A good dose of play
Play is the main source of pleasure and the most developed form of communication in children. Whether it’s a game of badminton with you, a lego building in your corner or a toy car race with your neighbor, whatever the context.
Vary the sources of amusement as much as possible so that he does not equate the pleasure of the game with a specific situation.
8- Accept his privacy
Yes, whether it is at 3, 5 or 8 years old, we already have a secret garden, and we do not want daddy mom to come snooping inside!
This little piece of wood that he secretly loves, this famous Manon that he doesn’t want to tell you about, this ailment that he mysteriously had … it’s his privacy, no need to go poke your nose at it.
Ideally, the child needs a place to be quiet: whether it is his room, the playroom or a hut in the garden, do not enter it at all costs, it is his kingdom.
9- Avoid comparisons
“Your brother, at your age, he was already doing his shoelaces”, “you were 14 in history? that’s great ! and how much did the little margot have? »: These are sentences to be banned. First, each is unique and stands out in different areas.
Second, this type of behavior sabotages the confidence that your child has somehow built for himself. Finally, it is the best way to create jealousy and initiate conflicts (special mention for comparisons between brothers and sisters).
Conclusion
In conclusion, to make your child happy, keep an eye on two main aspects:
The environment: does your child have access around him to the things (tangible and intangible) necessary for his development?
Identity: do you help him develop, build himself, encourage him to assert his personality?