Have you ever heard from others that you are overreacting to something? Surely yes. And this is normal: it is almost impossible to take any criticism in a cold-blooded way. Problems begin when the reaction becomes too sharp, too violent. How to learn to react differently?
As you know, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. This means that the more we take risks, the louder we begin to declare ourselves, the more criticism we will hear in our address.
You can’t stop the flow of opinions, but you can learn to perceive them differently. Do not let comments slow down the development and movement towards goals. To do this, it is not necessary to grow a shell and become thicker-skinned.
Before you take something too personally, think about this.
1. Do you know who your critics are?
People who criticized or offended you — what do you even know about them? The sharpest criticism is usually allowed by anonymous people in social networks. Such people hiding behind strange avatars should not be taken into account at all.
Nobody argues that freedom of speech is important. Everyone should have the right to express an opinion. And constructive anonymous comments have a right to exist. But anonymous injections and insults leave only cowardly cowards. Is it worth it to let such people hurt you?
2. Are these people important to you?
We are often hurt by the words, opinions, and actions of people that are not important to us in and of themselves. Mom of another child on the playground. A friend who once set you up and certainly can no longer be considered a friend. An unbearable colleague from the next department. The boss at the company you are about to leave. The toxic ex you don’t plan to date again.
Each of these people can hurt you, but it’s important to take a step back and take a hard look at the situation. These people are not important to you — so is it worth responding to their comments? But what if the critic is important to you? Do not rush to react — try to carefully listen to someone else’s point of view.
3. Is it worth sinking to their level?
To the level of those who judge you based on appearance, gender, orientation, age, those who rely on your differences from them? Hardly. All of the above is none of their business. If they cling to such things, then, in essence, they simply have nothing to say.
4. What they say and do is always about themselves.
The way a person speaks of others and behaves with them shows what he really is. With caustic comments, poisonous posts, misbehaving, they tell you the story of their life, share what they really are, what they believe in, what emotional games they play, how narrow their view of life is.
The poison they spray is their own product. It’s good to remind yourself of this, perhaps even more useful than trying to avoid them entirely.
5. Don’t jump to conclusions
When we are upset or angry, we think we know exactly what the other person meant. Perhaps it is: he wanted to hurt you. Or maybe we are wrong. Try to react calmly, leave the interlocutor the right to their own opinion, but do not take everything personally.
6. Consider how they can help you.
Even negative feedback delivered in an unacceptable way can help you learn from your mistakes, learn something and grow, especially when it comes to work. Return to the hateful comment when the emotions subside and see if it can be useful to you.
7. Don’t let your critics limit you.
The main danger that we take everything too close to heart is that because of this we take a defensive position, and this significantly limits life, preventing us from moving forward, developing and using new opportunities. Don’t let the critics lead you into this trap. Don’t become a victim.
Don’t let others rule your life. If you do something worthwhile, critics will surely show up, but they will only win if you let them.