5 Signs You’re Just a Fallback for Someone Else

Time goes by, and you still cannot understand at what stage your relationship is? A person does not completely disappear from the radar, but rarely calls and writes? He seems to be nearby — he sends selfies, tells what is happening in his life — but does not let him get close to him? If this sounds familiar to you, perhaps it’s time to state the sad fact that some people consider you only as an «alternate airfield».

We usually consider as a fallback someone who attracts us romantically and sexually. Someone we don’t have a connection with yet, but who we might start a relationship with if a better option doesn’t come up. Perhaps we don’t admit it to ourselves, but we always feel for sure that this is how we treat a person.

But how do you understand that this time you yourself are “on the bench”?

1. He communicates with you often, but not every day.

Three or four messages a week, several calls a month, several selfie messages, a couple of coffee invitations — such a person never disappears from the line of sight, keeps in touch, but appears from time to time.

He seems to keep us on a leash — and at the same time keeps a distance; spends time with us in a way that is convenient for him, but does not take the next step.

How to behave? If you are tired of such games, you can either stop answering calls and messages for at least a few days, or, conversely, start writing and calling every day. And see the reaction. This will give you clarity and help put an end to fantasies about why he’s acting so weird around you.

2. He flirts but doesn’t return your advances.

A friend makes compliments or even hints of a sexual nature, but if you return the same, he simply changes the topic or disappears. It’s all about control over the situation — it is important for the interlocutor to keep it in their hands and not let what is happening between you go to the next level, become something more serious than just a friendly relationship.

How to behave? The next time the person ignores your attempts at flirting, let them know you noticed this maneuver and ask them directly about what’s going on, why they’re doing it, and what it means for your relationship.

3. Your meetings are constantly getting in the way.

He misses and wants to meet, but something constantly interferes with dates — a cold, a blockage at work, a busy schedule, or other force majeure circumstances.

How to behave? Honestly, you are not ready to continue to be limited to correspondence and calls. After all, both friendships and romantic relationships require face-to-face communication in most cases.

4. Time for the two of you is always «inappropriate»

Something constantly interferes not only with your meetings, but also with the transition of relations to a new level. Either the person is “just not ready yet”, or there is “something that needs to be sorted out”, or even “you and I are simply made for each other, but now is not the right time.” It is interesting that for everything else — changing jobs, moving, vacations — the moment is the most suitable.

How to behave? Time is our main value, and no one has the right to just throw it around. If the one you like is not ready to start dating you right now, then you can safely move on.

5. He is already dating someone

It would seem that this is not just an alarming bell, but a real bell, however, when we really like someone, we tend to turn a blind eye to such “little things” as the presence of a potential partner in the second half — especially the one with which the relationship seems to be “ on the verge of breaking.»

Another option is when a person is nominally free and assures you that you are perfect, it’s just that he “has not completely moved away from the previous relationship” or “is not worthy” of you yet. As a rule, this does not prevent him or her from meeting others — such meetings «mean nothing» to him.

How to behave? Life is too short to waste it on those who are not ready for a relationship with you. Talk frankly about everything and, if this does not lead to anything, feel free to turn off communication.

You deserve to be with someone who is genuinely interested in you and is taking concrete steps to start dating you, rather than playing games, regarding you as an «alternate airfield».

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